Creative nonfiction by Sumitra Singam

Driving To the Next Thing While Neurodiverse

Is actually getting to the car, because even though the car is right there, that’s not the way we usually walk to the car, so we’ve got to go back to where we would have normally started from. And then we’ve got to count the steps. And we’ve also got to count the number of carriages on the train going past, and then we’ve got to decide whether the weed growing from the crack between the footpath and the building is a dandelion flower or not, and is that your favourite yellow, Amma, or is it a different yellow?

And saying we’ll be late for the next thing is not an answer to the yellow question, so we might have to look up shades of yellow on the phone just to check.

And we might have to just walk back a bit, not the whole way, because Amma you know you aren’t supposed to touch the car first, so we have to walk back just a bit.

And we might have to get the snack and drink bottle from the boot of the car, but that’s okay Amma, I can just reach into the boot over the back seat and grab it, but you’ve got to stop moving the car because that would be dangerous.

And we might have to stop at the shop because we bought the wrong brand of crackers, and these ones taste all wrong, the barbecue flavour is a bit too spicy on these ones and that makes them gross, Amma.

And saying we’ll be late to the next thing is not an answer to the cracker question, so we might have to stop at the shops just to sort that one out.

And while we’re at the shops, we could also get a large bag of food colouring, sugar and E numbers for an alternative snack because actually I don’t feel like crackers anymore.

And well, if we’re not getting lollies then you’re not getting any TV tonight, Amma, because that’s what happens when you say no to something I want you to do.

And you can’t just walk off and leave me in the shop, Amma, because that’s abandoning your child.

And saying we’ll be late to the next thing is not an answer to the lolly question, and anyway, I don’t care about the next thing even though I begged you to book me in for a whole week.

And the floor of the supermarket is actually quite cool, and the noises aren’t as loud, and the lights are not as bright, so maybe we can hang here for a bit looking at the muesli bars.

And yes, Amma, I am a bit nervous about the next thing because it is new and I don’t like new things.

And yes, Amma, I guess we could get a muesli bar for a snack and we could drive there now, and it might be okay if you come in with me.

And the car is cool, and quiet, and we pick “Sounds of Nature” and listen to the wind and the rain, and breathe in and breathe out. And we drive to the next thing.